What I Want
by Destiny Lyn
Summary: "You, Angie, need to figure out what you want." There's always more behind the silence than there are behind the words. And Angie is the master of the unspoken, and Oscar is the one who has always stood by her, but how much longer can he be the only one fighting?
1. Chapter 1

_**I guess this is post finale. This is going to be painful in the beginning, but it will get better...emotionally. I promise. Just bear with me. Remember. I love you all even when you don't love me haha! I listened to 'Over You' by Ingrid Michaelson ft. A Great Big World while writing this on repeat if you want a "mood setter" lol. Enjoy!**_

That night was one of the harshest Angie had ever experienced. Angie laid there, curled in a tight ball on her bed, unable to move her body. She couldn't even cry, so she laid there, staring at nothing other than the wall. But to Angie, the whole night flashed before her eyes. She could see the involuntary glint of hope in Oscar's eyes vanish once she could look up at his face again.

_I'm protecting him...from me._

Angie saw him drain the cup of its contents, and he stared directly into her eyes as if he heard her say some version of "but", however, she only released a sigh. He gave her one of his signature squints. The squint that told her he was seeing straight through her, breaking through her involuntary walls, but even she knew his tenacity would diminish sooner or later. He would give up, and she knew it would be better that way. She knew she could live with herself that way. The real question was whether or not she would be able to live without him.

"Angie," he paused as if making sure she was following him, "you don't get to do that."

She couldn't bear to look at him again because looking up would mean that she would be even more vulnerable than she already was.

"Do what?" she asked in a complete monotone.

She knew exactly what he was referring to, and she couldn't handle his persistence. It was overwhelming, but she didn't want him to leave; she just didn't want to admit it.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You have this whole self-defense mechanism that initiates itself whenever something potentially beneficial enters your life. But you don't see it that way. You see it as you protecting the other from yourself, when you're really protecting yourself from getting hurt-"

This is when she looked up at him, and it etched an immediate scar right in the center of her heart. The obvious pain he was releasing, the anger, the need, and that little fire of hope she thought she'd put out. And it hurt.

"You don't understand, Oscar," Angie barely got out, "I'm not good enough for you! I don't deserve you. I'm not protecting myself at all! You know how I know that? Because this hurts me just as much as it hurts you. I can't be the reason why you don't live a good, happy life."

Oscar gaped at Angie unable to express how wrong she was.

"No, Angie. You don't understand," he sat up much straighter at his desk nearly leaning off of it, "Today, when that gun barrel was aimed at your head and you were unprotected, I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just shot. I shot because if I ever lost you," Oscar had gotten out of his seat and made his way to Angie's desk, kneeling before her, continuing with much less frustration in his voice and her hands clasped in his on her lap, "Angie, I don't know how I could go on without carrying all the guilt and the pain on my back every day for the rest of my life. I couldn't."

Angie couldn't bring herself to look back down at him. She knew he meant every word he had said, and she knew that she felt the same way. All she did was pull her hands out from under his grasp, still looking anywhere but those deep brown eyes.

"Angie. Look at me," he brought his hand to her chin, but she moved away, "Angie. Look at me."

He was practically pleading - not with his voice, but with his eyes. She didn't even have to look at him to know that.

"I can't," she breathed.

_It's better for the both of us._

Slowly, he got up from the floor, never losing his visual on her. He gathered his things and turned around toward the elevator. She watched him walk out the door. She watched the only light in her future begin to leave her.

_I can't just let him walk away._

So before the doors swung shut, Angie ran to the closing doors, pushing them apart once more. Oscar immediately brought his eyes up to her face, but it was too much.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she spoke, looking down at the ground, hoping that was enough for him...and herself.

She brought her gaze up to his, hopeful. He couldn't speak, so he nodded very hesitantly, and Angie let the doors pull together.

She stayed a bit longer, however, she didn't touch the bottle of alcohol. All abilities were limited to thinking and soaking in what she had done. To him. To her. To them. When she felt the tears coming, she decided that was the time to go home, so she left.

Now, she lay there, still processing what had happened. She told herself that she had done the right thing. She'd repeated that he deserved better than her, and that he didn't need her problems and troubles. It was the only thing that was getting her through the night. She kept telling herself she was doing the right thing, still frozen in place until her phone buzzed.

_No. Not work. Not now._

It wasn't work, just an email. Angie didn't even bother checking it, but she glanced at the time which read 12:34 AM. Sleep didn't feel like a necessity; it felt like a gift far away in the distance. She closed her eyes, at least attempting to fall into a slumber.

_He's better off without you...you're doing the right thing...when you love someone, you put them first..._

Love? The word slipped in her mind while she went through all her reasons, but she didn't protest.

_I love him. I love Oscar Vega._

And with that finally being acknowledged, Angie drifted off to sleep...

The next day, Angie did see Oscar just like he said she would. It was an uneventful day for the duo - well, trio if you include Lucas. No new murder was reported, so they all got stuck with a stack of paperwork each.

The air was heavy with a silence that carried the tension and unresolved questions around the room. Oscar looked over at Angie expectantly as if she was going to apologize for last night, but she resisted the reflex to turn around. So there they all sat, quietly scribbling down the necessary information in each empty space. Totally awkward.

Finally, Lucas spoke up.

"I think I'm gonna go and uh - get - get some food! Yeah. I'm gonna go get some food. Anyone else want anything?"

"I'm sure Angie won't care-" Oscar was cut off by an impatient voice.

"Thank you, Oscar, but I can speak for myself."

_Why did I say that? I'm not angry at him._

"Okay...I'm gonna go now."

Lucas hurried out the door toward the elevator, eliciting a sigh of relief once out of their earshot.

"What the hell is up with them? I know the last case was close to home, but damn," he said to himself as the doors closed.

Oscar and Angie were still at their separate desks in uncomfortable silence. Suddenly, Angie set her pen down on the still painfully high stack of papers.

She looked over at her partner.

"Vega," he didn't pause from his diligent writing, "I'm sorry I snapped. I didn't mean it. I'm just - tense."

He still worked as if she hadn't said anything. Angie just looked down at the ground near the bottom of his desk briefly before looking back to him. She took a deep breath.

"So what? You're giving me the silent treatment now?" she chuckled without amusement.

That caught Oscar's attention. He looked out in front of him, sat his pen down beside the paper he was currently filling out, and faced Angie with an unamused smirk. Silent.

"What do you want me to say, Oscar? I don't know what else you want me to say."

Vega's smirk was far gone, now replaced with a frown.

"I don't want you to say anything, Angie! I want you to talk to me."

"Talk to you? How am I supposed to talk to you if you don't make an effort to talk to me?"

"You've got to be kidding me. Really, Angie? Unbelievable."

He started working again.

_What is happening?_

"'Unbelievable? You know what?" Angie took a deep breath, her jaw jutted out a little bit to the side before it set, and she focused on the sheet of paper in front of her, "Never mind. We're at work."

Angie adjusted her jaw, eyes wide with disbelief as she continued her paperwork, attempting to distract herself from getting even more frustrated.

Neither of them could actually get any work done. Eventually, Oscar laid his pen back down and spoke once more.

"You want to know what I have to say, Angie?"

Angie disregarded her work, much more calm than a couple minutes earlier.

"By all means. Shoot."

Angie leaned back in her chair, holding her pen up close to her upper lip, eventually placing it in her mouth to chew it lightly.

Oscar paused before speaking, squinting his eyes, scrutinizing her entire face. Then, he spoke.

"You, Angie, need to figure out what you want."

_I want you._

Angie disregarded that thought and instead replied, "That's it? That's all you have to say?"

Oscar resumed his position before they began their conversation and said simply, "That's it."

Angie considered that thought and nodded her head, turning her body back to her desk.

About a half hour later, Vega and Flynn's attention is brought to the swinging door, and the beautiful aroma of...

_Chinese? YES!_

"Finally! Damn, it took you forever to get back here!" Angie exclaimed forgetting about her work and the complicated feelings running through her mind to home all her energy on the newly arrived food. Oh, and Lucas, of course.

"I had to uh, guess on what everyone wanted, and then I had to wait for them to cook it and-"

Angie held up a finger, silencing her fellow detective while removing a box of what looked like chow mein along with chopsticks out of the take-out plastic bag that read, "Thank You!"

"You see, Lucas," Angie began, ungracefully scooping noodles into her mouth, "I don't really care. I just want the food."

He nodded, lips tight and big eyed, taking his box of food and utensils to his desk, leaving the rest for Vega who was grinning at the younger detective's mistake.

You don't stand in the way between Angie and her food.

Oscar picked up the last box and the last pair of chopsticks, shaking his head and making his way back to the awaiting pile of work he had to finish.

It was the end of an overall uneventful day. Everyone was gone besides Angie and Vega who were attempting to finish up the last few files, but damn. There's a lot of papers per file and even more writing to follow that. Finally, they both gave up, leaning back against their chairs. Oscar took a deep breath and exhaled. Angie had the palms of her hands covering her eyes.

"Goodnight, Angie," Oscar stated with a sigh, getting up from his chair.

Angie's head pointed instinctively toward him.

_Don't go._

"Hey, wait."

Oscar turned around, waiting for her to continue.

"Why don't we grab a drink? I mean-"

"Thanks, Ang, but not tonight," he replied returning to his previous route toward the elevator.

Angie jogged up to him, "What makes tonight any different from another night?"

_I know exactly what's different._

He gave her a sad smile, "You need to go home and think about you for once. Figure out what you want. Maybe we can grab a drink then."

And with that, he left Angie there. Alone. With only her thoughts for company. And the Lord knows that if there's anything Angie hates, it facing herself and her feelings. Alone.

**ANNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDD...that is it for this chapter...I know. I'm sorry. It's been a long time coming and it's still like extremely freaking short, so I'm sorry. I also know that SkylarCat might be a little disappointed in how I set up this fic, and believe me, I'm very hesitant about it too, lol. But, I guess we'll see where the writing takes me! I've just been having a hard time lately, so my writing is really suffering. Like, for example, Angie and Oscar in this chapter are like kinda out of their comfort zone and really don't seem like themselves, so I'm sorry, but I knew everyone in the Motive fandom has been suffering from withdrawal. That is what this fanfic is for: it's to help you heal. Plus, I just started high school, so yeah. That's exciting. Anyway, hopefully I'll have chapter two done very soon. Love ya!**

**~ Em**


	2. Chapter 2

_**HEYYYYYYYYYYY! CHAPTER TWO IS HERE! Okay, before I begin, I have a question for you all: Do you all want me to have chapter names? For example, instead of it just saying 'Chapter 2' do you want it to have a name? Let me know! Okay, so my song inspiration for this chapter was another Ingrid Michaelson song called 'Open Hands (feat. Trent Dabbs'. It's really sad, but I felt like it held a lot of the emotions and the proper feel for this chapter, so listen to it! I like listening to the same song on repeat while I'm writing a chapter. Anyway, enjoy this next...installment…**_

Angie didn't waste a second to grab her belongings and leave. By the time she had gotten down to her car, Oscar had already left. She didn't expect him to be there anyway. He told her what she needed to do, and she intended to do just that. He wants her to figure out what she wants. Him. How is she going to face what she wants? No idea. So she made that her mission, and no matter how much she didn't want to do that, she

knew she would at least try.

But only because he wanted her to.

Angie walked to her car door, unlocked it, opened the door, sat in the seat, closed the door, and didn't move. She just looked out at the darkened sky, clouds covering the majority of it. She allowed the stillness of her car soothe her. She inhaled the familiar scent to remind her she knows where she is. This, she's certain of. This car is here. This car is real. She focused on that. She thought about the meaning this car held for her. She made sure to awknowledge the things she knew to be real and true before she allowed herself to venture into the unknown. Eventually, Angie closed her eyes, leaning heavily on the seat, hands in hair.

Is this some sort of ultimatum? I don't know what to do. If I tell him that I'm not ready, will he throw our entire partnership in the trash? But if I say yes, I know I'm going to mess it up, or I'm going to hurt him! I can't do this. I really can't.

She sighed. This was precisely why Angie hated allowing herself to love others. It always ends in her making a big decision, and every time she makes it, it's the wrong one. The one that makes everyone unhappy is the option she always chose, but that's what Angie does. She runs. When things get too complicated or unpredictable; she chooses the one that she can predict the outcome of. However, what made this decision so difficult was that either way, she lost. There was no option she could predict the outcome of. She didn't know which option she could live with. All she knew was that if she lost Oscar, she wouldn't know what to do anymore. She felt like without him to be her rock, her true North, she wouldn't be able to live with herself.

Angie is an independent woman, but even independent women need their solid ground. They need someone they know will always be there. For Angie, that was Oscar, and she can't lose him. That was one of her worst fears: losing him. She didn't know if she could bear losing someone who had known her for 5 years. The one who had been by her side for 5 years. The one who had broken all her walls and gained her trust.

Perhaps that's why she didn't want to take it any further. She was afraid that if they didn't work out, she would lose him. She didn't want to risk that. She couldn't risk losing him. She simply couldn't. But either way, she felt like she was going to lose him. It was a matter of how quickly she wanted that to happen. And that was the problem: she didn't want it to end. She wanted him to be with her forever because this independent woman is more dependent than she wants to let on. She is selfish, and she wants him.

Angie's eyes flew wide open at the blare of her phone ringing.

Damn. How loud did I turn the ringer up?

She snatched up her phone from her coat pocket to read the Caller ID. It read, "Manny". Suddenly, all the confusion and unhappiness drained from her body. God, she missed him. They haven't really got to connect since he came back because of the case. She didn't know he was going to stay in town for so long. Quickly, Angie picked up the phone, and spoke into the phone with a smile that warmed all her features if one were to look at her.

"Manny! How-"

"Mom. You need to come to the house now."

The color drained from her face, and the smile faded away.

"I'm on my way. But I need you to tell me what's wrong."

Angie started the car after strapping herself in with the seatbelt.

"I think I just witnessed a murder."

As Angie frantically drove toward her house, she used the same amount of urgency to call the only other person she trusted.

"Come on, Oscar! Pick up!"

_If Manny witnessed a murder, and the murderer saw him..._

_"You've reached Oscar Vega. I'm currently not available, but if you leave a message, I'll try my best to get back to you. Or not."_

If the situation wasn't so dire, Angie might've laughed at his voicemail, but it only furthered Angie's frustration.

_Beep._

"Oscar, Manny just witnessed a murder at the house. I'm on my way now. Please. When you get this message. Don't even bother calling back. Just come," she spoke, trying not to sound desperate. She needed to stay calm, and she knew that.

Angie ended the call, and continued the drive. In reality, her house was only 10 minutes away from the precinct, but at this moment, it seemed like the minutes crawled by slower and slower. The stoplights went by in a green blur until a red one stopped her. She tapped the steering wheel impatiently, as if it would make sure her son was safe. She desperately wished Oscar was there. He would know what to say to calm her down, and he'd just.._.be_ there. God knows she'd do anything for those two thoughts to become realities.

Please be safe. Please be safe.

Finally, she made the last turn onto her street, parked her car, and began to scan her surroundings.

Without getting out of the car, Angie looked up and down the street trying to find either the killer or the now lifeless body of the victim her son had seen. She couldn't find anything out of the ordinary, but this whole situation was completely nerve-wracking, giving Angie a reason to pull out her gun while letting herself out of the vehicle. The houses around her seemed lifeless with the dim, orange LEDs illuminating from the lightposts and bouncing playfully off the windows of each building. There was no sound. Not even crickets were heard. Only the faint buzzing of the electricity whisking through the lights accompanied her. The bushes and trees around her only moved with the wind. Nothing seemed out of place until she got to her door.

_Manny…_

The door was ajar without any light coming from the inside of the room within. Angie approached her home with caution, gun slightly out in front of her, one arm slightly bent with the other straight and steady, and her head was tilted to the side, attempting to steal a glimpse of what lay in the room before her. She couldn't piece anything together from where she was, so she stalked toward the doorway. Once there, she had her back against the wall so she could jump anyone who wanted to walk out the front door while she listened for any voices or sudden movements. Angie was satisfied with the silence as she stealthily entered the entryway. In front of her was a panicking Manny. Angie lowered her gun and pulled him in for a hug, but before she could embrace her son, he yelped and whispered, "Mom, he's behind you."

She whipped around with her gun pointed in the direction of the intruder, but whoever it was knocked the gun out of her hands before she could pull the trigger.

The only thought that she allowed to cross her mind was: What is he doing on my house?

Quickly taking in the scene in front of her, Angie could now tell the the person was a man with a strong build covered in black (including his face), average height, and dark hair. But she had to move quickly because he threw a punch in her direction that she easily pushed away from her.

"Manny, run!" Angie got out.

He didn't question his mother's order while he scrambled out through the back door. Grabbing onto the forearm of her attacker, Angie got behind the man and twisted his arm with her as much as she could, however her strength was no where near this man's as he effortlessly maneuvered out of her grip and pushed her roughly to his right, sending her into the wall painfully, leaving her disoriented. She had hit her head against the hard barrier, but she tried to crawl toward her weapon. However, the man was faster and easily snatched up the gun before Angie was even close. Angie's vision was getting hazy as she pushed herself back up on her behind, scooting furiously back until she hit the wall again.

_This is it._

She could barely make out the masked man raising his arm to shoot her. Angie held her breath and closed her eyes, allowing her head to pound mercilessly against her skull. She had a moment where her life flashed before her eyes. The memories that flooded her vision were of the day Manny was born and the birthdays she had worked her ass off in order to make happen for him. She saw him grow up again. She remembered his 7th birthday when he couldn't stop talking about getting the new Power Rangers' Action Figure, and how he was nearly bursting with excitement when he saw the rectangular package wrapped in blue wrapping paper. And when he opened it, his eyes just lit up as he practically pushed himself into her to capture her a rough embrace. She told him she loved him and he replied with more love than she thought was possible. Then, she remembered his high school graduation. Oscar was there with her as he got up on the stage and received his diploma, and Manny searched for her with his eyes that were filled with pride. She hoped he could tell that she was proud of him, and Oscar had grasped her hand to comfort her when she began to allow tears of joy to slide down her face. Afterwards, they had had dinner together and Manny was so happy.

And then she saw Oscar. She remembered the moments when he would make her laugh or a stupid bet they had made. She remembered the last 5 years and every moment in between those years with him. She rehashed the moment when they were playing rock, paper, scissors and she pulled out dynamite, and she remembered the look on his face when she bit her lip to avoid laughing. Angie was a great actress at times like those when she made it seem like she was being serious when really she was just trying to get a reaction out of him. Sometimes, Angie acted like it wasn't serious at all when what she really wanted him to prove to her that he knew her better. Deeper in her memories, she could see now the love they shared even in the moments when they hadn't admitted to themselves what they felt for the other. She put into account all the times he was there for her when she was in desperate need of him, and the times when he held her hand and she held his. She remembered him smiling at her, and she now smiled with joy.

And then, she heard the shot.

_**DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN! LOL! I know you all are going to kill me now that I'm leaving this here like that! Haha! I'm so sorry it's taken so long and I know that it isn't the longest chapter in the world, but these past three days have been extremely eventful and I think I'm getting the stomach flu or something because my stomach is in terrible pain right now. Idk. Anywho! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I already have an outline for the next chapter, so it should be up relatively soon! Love you all!**_

_**~Em**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hey! I'm back with the third chapter! I hope the cliffhanger didn't tear any of you apart! Lol. This chapter's song inspiration is Florence + The Machine's 'Never Let Me Go' because this song is like perfection haha! Anyway, without further ado, CHAPTER THREE! WARNING: SUPER SHORT. I'm so sorry._**

_Previously..._

_She remembered him smiling at her, and she now smiled with joy._

_And then, she heard the shot._

Bang.

One shot.

Bang.

Two shots.

Angie's eyes were now wide open. The man who had had the gun pointed at her had been knocked over to the side by someone else's bullet and his aim faltered, so when his shot, it hit the wall right above Angie's head, however, before she could exhale, he aimed once more, this time aiming for her abdomen.

Angie tried to move, but her head was now spinning and she was slowly losing concsiousness. She felt the adrenaline pulsing through her veins, giving her enough strength to drag herself to the right, but when she attempted to stand, he fired, hitting her on her left side. The force knocked her against the wall once again. The other shooter began to run into the house, sending Angie's perpetrator dashing out through the back door. Angie had felt the bullet pierce through her skin, exiting straight through her body. It burned her skin, and she whimpered.

Angie had only been shot once before, but the bullet barely touched her. It was only a flesh wound that left a long gash along her forearm. She wasn't at all prepared for what it felt like to actually have the bullet pass through her body, for she had only trained for these situations. So, she used her knowledge of bullet wounds and how to treat them as much as she could even though her head was thoroughly clouded, making the thought process rather difficult.

She did her best not to move too much while putting pressure on the wound, but she was slumped in an awkward position that hurt her even more. She attempted to adjust her spot against the wall, but she couldn't find the strength or the focus to follow through with her intentions; the adrenaline had already begun to wear off now that the shooter was gone and shock was settling in. Angie could feel the blood leaving her body through the exit wound, but she didn't have anything to wrap around herself. By now, her vision was leaving rapidly, and her thoughts were scattered from the extent of her concussion.

_Why didn't he kill me?_

Just then, she could see two bodies sprint to her side.

"Oscar..." Angie barely breathed.

"Mom!" Manny stood in front of his mother guilt and shock evident on his face. Angie wanted to tell him something comforting, but it was getting difficult for her to speak.

Oscar didn't allow Manny to be frozen with shock as he firmly stated, "Manny, you've gotta call 911. NOW."

Angie's eyes were squeezed shut, a sheen of sweat coating her forehead, forming in the wrinkles caused from her grimace. Oscar removed his tie and belt and tore off a good sized piece of his dress shirt in an attempt to make a pressure bandage

If Angie were in better condition, she would've come back with a snarky comment such as , "I didn't know we were that type of friends", but her consciousness was fading.

Manny's frantic voice could be heard in the background as he nearly shouted his address and the state of his mother's condition. He ended the call with, "I'm not letting my mom die tonight." Once he hung up the phone, he rushed to Oscar and his mother's other side, grasping her left hand. She gave his hand a weak curl of her fingers.

Oscar cradled her head gently, and with ease, slightly lifted her shirt to get better access of the wound. He tightly wrapped the wound up from both sides, placing his folded tie on the entry wound and his wadded up shirt strip on the exit wound. Then, he tightly secured the fabric to their places around her small frame using his belt. The make-shift bandage helped control the bleeding to a minimum.

_If you can't make the situation better, make sure it doesn't get any worse._

"Hey, Ang. I need you to keep your eyes on me. You're going to be okay, but you've gotta fight. Be the strong, witty woman I know."

Her eyes were barely open while Oscar soothed her. The burning was fading away. Angie's lips curled upward in a grin, and she grunted with effort, bringing her right hand up to his forearm as if saying, "It's okay, let me go."

He looked down at her hand and up to her face, pleading with his eyes and keeping his hands on both of her wounds to keep the pressure there, minimizing the blood loss, "I need you to move your legs for me, okay?"

In that second it took him to look down at her legs, Angie had lost consciousness, her eyes closed and grin gone, replaced with the natural purse of her lips. And her hand had slid off his forearm.

"No," Oscar spoke, "Manny, are the ambulances on their way?"

He couldn't reply. He couldn't let go of his mother's limp hand.

"Manny-"

"It's my fault. It's all my fault," was all Manny could utter, over and over again.

They could hear faint sirens in the distance; the ambulance couldn't be more than a few blocks away.

"No, it wasn't Manny," Oscar let out, still keeping pressure on Angie's abdomen, "We need to keep her alive. Do you know how to check for a pulse?"

Manny nodded, and he placed his fingers delicately, but with enough pressure to feel the faint, yet steady heartbeat thrum against his fingertips.

He gave Oscar a nod of reassurance.

"Good. Lower your head to her chest to listen for her breathing."

Manny did as he was told, and could hear a small wheeze and very slow breaths, but they were there.

"They're weak and wheezy, but they are there," he spoke shakily.

Oscar nodded. They now could see the lights reflecting off the walls from the ambulance since the front door was wide open, and they heard the heavy footsteps of paramedics entering the home. They had brought a stretcher and were preparing to carry her up onto it. Oscar made it clear he wasn't going to lave her side. The two men exchanged quick glances before one spoke up.

"Sir, we need you to step aside. We know what we're doing, and she needs immediate medical attention."

Oscar reluctantly nodded his head. She needed the best attention and quickly, and he wasn't going to stifle her chances of making it out of this alive.

Manny cut in with concern lacing his voice, "Is my mom going to be okay?"

"We're going to do our best," the paramedic with the name of Brian said calmly.

The paramedics briskly placed her on the stretcher they had brought out and with a fast pace, they loaded her into the back of the emergency vehicle.

Oscar and Manny made eye contact, and the older man gave him a reassuring nod to help soothe the boy. Manny gave him a tight nod back. Oscar put his arm around his partner's son to give him some stability. It always helped his mother.

The two paramedics, Oscar, and Manny all entered the back of the ambulance, hurriedly speeding toward the hospital.

Once they were are settled in the back of the ambulance and the paramedics were doing what they could to keep her alive for the trip to the ER, Oscar brushed a strand of hair behind Angie's ear.

"I'm right here."

_**Yupp! That's it for this chapter! I wanted to do more interaction between Oscar and the paramedics, but I felt like this is more realistic because Angie's life was in danger. Otherwise, I would've definitely added more confrontation there. I hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter is going to be tricky...I'm still not positive on what I'm going to write, but it will come to me! Don't worry! The next chapter, I'll try to make nice and long because you all deserve it. I'm really sorry for the slow updates. And I know they aren't the longest chapters in the world. I'm just really trying to do well in school and I'm trying to stay positive about myself. It gets difficult sometimes. Especially now because I have done so much to achieve what I have, working my ass off to get good grades while at the same time doing what I love. It's so extremely challenging because I just feel like I'm not good enough. I do what I love and I think I'm relatively good at, but it doesn't feel like I'm good enough. You know?**_

_**Is it really supposed to be this hard?**_

_**I'm sorry. This A/N is longer than the actual chapter. I'll stop now.**_

_**~Em**_


	4. Chapter 4

**_First off, I want to say that the song inspiration for this chapter was a Korean song by Lyn (린) called 'Breakable Heart'. It's a good song. You can look up the English lyrics or look up the video on YouTube. Check it out! The lyrics might not pertain to this story, but the vibe was right. I also listened to Ed Sheeran's cover of 'Skinny Love', but Birdy's version is still my favorite. Secondly, I appreciate the people who are sticking with me on this slow paced journey! I truly wish that I had more time to write for all of you because I really do enjoy it, and I love it when other people love what I write in return. I don't get a lot of praise, so this chapter is for all of you._**

_"Do you remember the first time we met?" Angie asked her partner._

_They had just finished a case and were staying late to finish up the paperwork - one of the "best" things about their job. All the more reason to kick up their feet on their desks and procrastinate. Correction - Angie kicked up her boots onto the wood of her desk while Oscar twisted his chair toward her with that curious look in his eyes that he always uses on her. To be brutally honest, it was one of Angie's greatest weaknesses. (Though she would never admit that in her life)._

_It was also why it was so hard to look him in the eye at times. This, however, was not one of those times. She glanced straight into his dark brown orbs with a squinted look like she does when she analyzes his expressions. It was like a face off without the words being heard - just mutually understood. They were exchanging little quips with eachother using their simple looks. Angie was saying,  
>"Are you sure you wanna challenge me?"<em>

_And with a quick quirk of Oscar's eyebrow, he shot back, "Oh, I know it."_

_Angie broke into a lopsided grin. He returned the favor, and she nodded her head, encouraging Oscar to reply to her question. When he didn't say anything, Angie repeated the question._

_"Do you remember the first time we met?"_

_His grin grew wider._

_"Of course! You loved me from the start," he stated._

_Angie chuckled hysterically._

_"Oh yeah. Totally. It must've been your curls."_

_Oscar's face flushed._

_"I'm kidding," Angie insisted._

_His grin faded a teeny bit before he responded, "Oh, I know you fell for the curls."_

_Angie still had her smile pasted to her face, "Mm-hmm."_

After she had passed out, Angie had been shuffling through her memory. She remembered moments in her life that she never would have guessed really mattered. Moments like the time she had asked Vega if he had recalled their first meeting. At the time, she knew it was a silly question. Of course he remembered! He's Vega! When it came to her, even Angie knew he memorized every subtle twitch her body made, let alone the first day they met.

Angie wasn't aware of what surrounded her physical body. It was as if she were stuck in this space that made it impossible to move. She was frozen with only her own memories to keep her company.

_There was a steady pitter-patter that thudded against the windows softly as Angie and Manny were watching TV. Angie had rarely used his house key before, so this was a special day. The duo waited patiently for their guest to arrive. They had planned this for months - the pie (because Oscar never really cared for cake), the presents they would buy, even the specific Chinese dishes they were going to bring. All they had to do was sit tight for Betty's 'okay'._

_On the television, a boring movie was playing. No doubt, one of those cheesy chick flicks. Girl meets boy, boy doesn't like girl but girl likes him, eventually, he realizes he's loved her all along, and then they get together. Total garbage, but hey, it was entertaining to make fun of how ridiculous it was._

_As Manny pointed out how the main character was staring at the main girl's boobs shamelessly, Angie laughed, and her phone vibrated in her pocket._

_It was from Betty: He's on his way._

_Angie straightened up and looked over at her son with a playful smile dancing on her lips._

_"Let's do this."_

_It was a glorious moment because she felt like a child again. She was setting up a surprise party for her best friend, and it felt surreal._

_After turning off the television, Manny took the cartons of Chinese from the fridge and microwaved them. Once they were heated up, he grasped the boxes and one by one dumped the contents onto seperate plates and set them on the table._

_Meanwhile, Angie took the pie out from the fridge and placed it gently onto the large glass cake stand that she had recently bought along with the dome at the nearby Target. God knows Angie would've never just had one of those handy. She positioned the gorgeous looking Boston Cream Pie in the middle of the table with the Chinese dishes littering both sides of the container._

_Finally, they both set their wrapped presents on the edge closest to the door. With the still steady thrum of water hitting the windows, the mother-son duo hid - Manny behind the kitchen counter and Angie behind the couch. They didn't have to crouch for very long though, for they heard the motor of a car linger in front of the house and then light footsteps approach the door. The click of a key releasing the lock echoed throughout the living room, and then the door swung open. And-_

_"SURPRISE!" the two shouted in the direction of the home's owner._

_Vega's eyes crinkled as his lips spread into a grin. Manny and Angie had matching smiles, but Angie's faltered a bit when she saw the lack of surprise on her partner's face.._

_"How did you know?" she asked._

_Oscar looked down before bringing his eyes up to her with that hesitant look in them._

_"What?" Angie pressed._

_He inhaled and offered a reassuring smirk, "You left your car in plain sight."_

_Angie scoffed, "Plain sight? I parked it up the street at least a block!"_

_He shifted his gaze to Manny and ignored his partner's death glare. He gave the younger man an enlightened expression while saying, "This is great. Thank you, Manny." Manny beamed and nodded toward the wrapped boxes, "We got you presents."_

_Vega followed his glance, "I can see that."_

_Oscar took off his slightly damp jacket and placed it in the closet across the hall before the two males began making their way to the table. Angie still had a discontent expression on her face, clearly disappointed that her surprise wasn't as 'surprising' as she had hoped it would be. Oscar stepped back toward Angie and wrapped an arm around her shoulder comfortingly. She greatly accepted it._

_"You know partner, it's alright. Not all people can live up to the standards of the 'Vega Surprise Party'."_

_With that, she shrugged out of his grip while he just chuckled with Manny._

_"Ha. Ha. Very funny, Vega. You keep this up, and I'm gonna take away my present from you."_

_His laughed faded out but the smile never left his face as he opened the present from Manny. Unwrapping the box, Vega got excited as he uncovered a flask that could clip to his belts. He burst into a fit of laughter._

_"No way."_

_"I wanted to be original. I wasn't going to give you some cheap cologne, so I figured 'what the hell' and got a flask."_

_Vega held his new possession with a look of pride on his face._

_"Thanks, Manny."_

_Manny nodded, clearly glad that he appreciated the present._

_Oscar gingerly picked up the larger box, and stated, "What's so special that Angie would threaten to take it away from me?"_

_Angie rolled her eyes as her partner again put the box back down in it's place. Under the striped wrapping paper and inside the box was an entire suit, complete with a white dress shirt, a black, checkered tie, and black shoes. He looked up at her._

_Angie fixed her eyes on the breast pocket and nodded, "Look inside." She once again had a sweet smile that reached her eyes._

_Inside the pocket was a small, folded up piece of paper that read,_

_"Oscar Vega._

_How do I even begin to express how much you mean to me? As a partner, you have figured out this complicated mess that you know as Angelika Flynn. You know me better than I do, and in doing so, you have learned how to help me when I need it, how to be there for me when no one else is, and how to protect me from being me. And I can't even express how thankful I am for you._

_As a friend, you have provided me with a safety net. You have become the one I turn to in times of need. You have always been there for me. You know that it has been a while since anyone like that has ever entered my life. So, thank you._

_To my partner and to my friend, happy birthday._

_-Angie"_

_He folded the paper back up and slid it into the pocket once more. He found Angie's eyes and gave her one of his genuine grins._

_"Happy Birthday, Oscar."_

Suddenly, Angie snapped out of the flashback and was once again pulled into the empty space. This time was different. She felt him. He was here.

_Wake up! Wake up!_

But she couldn't wake up.

Oscar was sitting next to Angie on one of the hospital chairs. She looked peaceful. The only signs that she wasn't perfectly normal were the needles in her arms and the paleness of her skin - though she had improved a hell of a lot since she had arrived. She had an IV hooked up to her left arm and had a blood transfusion being done through the other. She had lost so much blood that night.

_Once the EMTs, Oscar, and Manny had reached the hospital, the doors of the ambulance were immediately forced open, and the EMTs compelled Manny to release his mother's hand. There were three doctors who flooded out the doors of the hospital toward Angie who was being hurriedly wheeled away from the vehicle. Manny began to call out to the physicians, but Oscar held him back and calmed him down as they exited the ambulance, allowing the driver to take the vehicle away from them. Oscar guided the younger man into the hospital._

_The two sat restlessly, overcome with worry. Oscar was regretting leaving her alone that night; blaming himself for her getting hurt. He was - is - her partner. He's supposed to be her backup. He failed to fulfill his role, and if he lost her that night...he wouldn't know what to do with himself. He would've done anything to be the one in her place. Manny was holding himself responsible for her shooting as well. If he hadn't ran, he could've protected her. He could've blocked the shooter from hitting her. There were so many ways he could've prevented this, and he did what a coward would do, and he ran. Both men were unaware of the individual yet connected thoughts they shared, however, they both knew how guilty the other must feel. They just didn't know how to help eachother, so they kept to themselves._

_Finally, after what seemed like hours of being in the waiting room, one of the doctors that had collected Angie earlier walked into the room searching for the family of Angelika Flynn._

_"Here!" Manny nearly leaped out of his seat while Oscar hung back, unsure of whether or not they would allow non-blood related family in to visit her._

_Manny continued to speak, "I'm her son."_

_He forgot to mention Oscar in the heat of the eagerness to learn of his mother's condition. However, the doctor remained calm as she nodded toward Oscar._

_"And you are?"_

_"Oscar Vega. I'm her partner," Oscar replied, stepping forward a couple steps to stand alongside Manny._

_The doctor accepted the answer and continued with explaining Angie's condition._

_"My name is Sharon Frank. I was the leading physician in Ms. Flynn's surgery. She is in a coma. We believe it is due to a fall or some sort of trauma to the head before or after being shot as well as the blood loss. We believe she has a higher probability of breaking out of state than most comatose patients, for she received medical attention fairly quickly and the causes of her coma state are not too serious. The trauma was slight with only minor brain swelling which is now under control which is great for her chances of a full recovery - once she wakes. She is lucky the bullet was from a small caliber weapon. It wasn't too wide, which we are thankful for, because any larger, and she might've had a major leakage from her intestine. Other than a slight fragment that barely penetrated the large intestine, her organs are in tact. We removed the fragment and repaired the intestine. She suffered Class III Hemorrhaging, so a blood transfusion was necessary for the blood loss as well as an IV to replace the liquid she has lost. She may look slightly pale, but that is normal. We'll be monitoring her at all times. Her vitals will be measured through wires connected to her forehead. If any of those vitals change, let us know immediately. That means that she's waking up."_

_The doctor breathed in and out and placed a comforting hand on Manny's shoulder, "I believe you have reason to be hopeful." She looked up from Manny's face to Oscar's and nodded as if answering the two men's silent question._

_"You may go see her. One at a time."_

_The physician exited the waiting room back into the narrow hallway._

_"You go ahead, Manny," Oscar spoke._

_Manny eagerly walked after the physician, and Oscar watched, making sure he knew which room to walk into when it was his time to visit his partner. Interrupting Oscar's thoughts was a familiar female voice._

_"Vega!" Betty called out._

_He turned to the medical examiner and she pulled him in for a hug. Startled by the sudden contact, he paused before hugging the woman back. Betty pulled away, and looked up at Oscar. She had tears in her eyes._

_"How is she?"_

_"Well, long story short: she suffered minor head trauma, a knicked large intestine that was easily repaired, and 30-40% blood loss, so a blood transfusion was necessary as well as an IV. She's in a coma, but the physician, Dr. Sharon Frank, says there is reason to be hopeful for a full recovery," Oscar finished._

_He was hurting so much on the inside. Facts were the only anchors holding him down. Of course, that was when Betty had to state what he was trying so hard to hide._

_"It's not your fault, you know. There's no way you could have known. There's no way you could have predicted this would happen. Don't blame yourself for something that isn't your fault. Okay?"_

_Betty placed her hand on his forearm. All he did was nod his head. She asked about Manny, and Oscar just told her that he was doing as well as a son in his position could be._

_Finally, he sat down in one of the waiting room chairs, and Betty did the same in the seat next to him. And they waited for Manny's return._

Now, he sat in the chair next to Angie, and he never knew he could be so relieved to see her alive and well. Regardless of the coma. She was able to breathe on her own. She looked as if she was peaceful in a deep sleep. He smiled gently while brushing a stray curl behind her ear.

"Hey, Ang. We're all really worried about you. Betty's here. Manny's here. I'm here."

He paused.

"Hey, partner. You remember the day we first met?" Oscar chuckled beginning to play with her hair.

"I remember entering the precinct and finding the Captain's office. You know, he told me that my new partner's name was 'Angelika Flynn'. I remember the first thing that came to mind. It was, 'She sounds audacious already'. And damn. I knew you were going to be bold, but wow. I'd be lying if I said you didn't catch me by surprise. The next thing I recall is you striding into the precinct like you owned the place," he discontinued his stroking of her hair and just stared at her and spoke again, "The captain called you over, and you literally gave me a once over and then held out your hand. You introduced yourself, and I did the same. We shook hands, and you said, 'What did you do before this? Work at a million dollar company?' I had never met anyone so blatantly honest before you. I didn't even answer your question. I just looked at you with squinted eyes, and you returned the stare until you laughed and said, 'Come on. These murders aren't going to solve themselves.' I remember that night when we had worn out every little lead we had found, and I had to make you stop working. I loved your dedication. I've always loved your dedication. And I remember the last thing you said before we parted ways. You said, 'I've gotta run.' And Ang," Oscar grasped her hand and surveyed her unresponsive face before finishing, "Please, don't run."

Suddenly, the screen that measured Angie's vitals beeped. And the lines began to jump spiradically, and Oscar finally allowed a tear to slip down his cheek.

There is hope.

**_There it is! I hope this is long enough. It took forever to do the research for this, and I'm nearly positive that I got at least one of the medical terms or procedures incorrect, but hey, this chapter was really fun to write, and I hope it was more insight of the Flynn-Vega relationship before the TV show took place. I hope you all enjoyed! And I promise that I will update more frequently from now on! See you soon!_**

**_~Em_**


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